10 Big Problems in a Relationship and How to Fix it
By: Mihran “Mino”
Relationships can be perfect. But that doesn’t mean it won’t have its problems. Find out the big problems in a relationship and learn how to fix it.
But yet, we forget how much something really matters to us when we don’t stand to lose it.
And it usually takes losing something to realize its importance and value.
Wondering what the big problems in a relationship are, and what you can do to overcome it?
Problems in a relationship
Depending on the kind of relationship you share with your partner, the problems in a relationship too could be just as unique.
But almost always, all problems in a relationship find their place in ten big areas.
At some point or the other, these problems have a way of creeping into your romance.
Keep an eye on these issues, and understand how to overcome it, and you’ll see how easy it can be to eliminate all the frustrations you experience in a relationship.
10 big problems that need your attention
Remember this, you can’t stop problems from cropping up in a relationship no matter how perfect the relationship is. What you can do instead, is eliminate the frustration as soon as you notice them.
#1 Lack of communication. At the start of the relationship, conversations are exciting and fun. Both of you spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But as time goes by, lovers forget to ask the same questions again.
We’re all changing all the time, in our preferences and the way we look at life. Don’t assume you know everything about each other or your romance will start to stagnate, or one of you will start to confide in some other person who seems more understanding.
#2 Trust. Do you really trust your partner? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. Firstly, do you trust your partner enough to feel comfortable with them going out for dinner with someone else? If you don’t, perhaps, you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile.
And secondly, do you trust your partner’s decisions? Do you think your partner is capable of making important decisions for the both of you? If you can’t trust your partner with life altering decisions, it’s obvious that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s never a good sign in a long term relationship.
#3 Jealousy and insecurity. Insecure couples are forever locked in a cycle of jealously and anger. When you feel jealous about the attention your lover’s getting or their recent promotion, you’re not helping them become a better individual. It’s like a parent who’s angry with their child because the child is having “too much fun”.
You need to learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it?
#4 Incompatibility in love. Love at first sight and infatuation can last several months. And it does a good job of masking any differences in a relationship. As perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.
If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations.
#5 Loss of sex drive. This isn’t rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of a relationship. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore.
This is a very common problem in relationships, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky bunnies.
#6 Ka ching! Anyone in a relationship for long enough will know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it’ll end up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there’ll be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.
It’s a stupid fact of life. But our own happiness is extremely dependent on the way others perceive us. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, perhaps it’s time to change your friends and see the difference.
#7 Change in priorities. You may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t change who you are. And that’s where the problem starts. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.
And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And every now and then, you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. Spend enough time with each other and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Talk about your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path.
#8 Time. Do both of you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. When you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”
Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.
#9 Space and individual growth. Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But it’s still something to watch out for. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, spending time with each other is very important. But at the same time, spending time away from each other is crucial too.
By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right?
#10 Are you still in love? This is the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner?
Very perceptive advice Mihran
Well thought out and discussed, Mihran.
Mino, you deserve to have a loving relationship, and these pointers will help many others! Excellent advice!
Dear Mino.. a brilliant post that all should read.. And I can put my hand on heart and say I doubt there are many relationships which do not come across those various problems..
You are right in your thoughts.. its how we ‘Fix’ them that’s important.. And I am smiling wider today as tomorrow is our Ruby Wedding, 40 yrs.. And within that time We have gone through the list I am sure several times over.. But we have worked our way through them.. Because LOVE is about giving and taking, and sharing and patience, tolerance..
We laugh now at our selves.. and have become all the closer for understanding one another.
Bless you
Sue
Such great advice – thank you!
Thank you so much for your pleasant words!
Such great advice – thank you!!
Thank you for your great warms, it means a lot to me!
Good post, Mihran. #1 and #7 (to me they belong together) were the problem that caused #10. The only person that was disturbed by that I until I spoke up and said that #10 has taken place. Then my husband wanted to talk… but I didn’t. We are fine again, very fine. But we hade some very healthy 6 months of working through our crises.
Great advice. I would say trust is the biggest. We can measure money, time, but not trust, and if ever trust is broken it’s very hard, if not impossible, to rebuild. But in this day and age, time could also be an issue. Very good post.
It seems like the troubled couples I have known have faced at least one of these problems. Thanks for providing a lot of food for thought.
Very interesting post…se should all learn…and learn…from these 10 points….thank you for sharing Mihran!!
fruitful and valuable blog
Thank you so much, I am glad with your thoughts!
Most important in a relationship for me is respect and giving time to each other. Things would seem a bit rosy in initial days of a new love but slowly we start taking each other for granted and forget to give each other time that is much needed in any relationship.
You had a great point – Three main factors 1) Honesty 2) Give compliments 3) Not to be selfish!
I think you covered everything there about problems in relationships, they can overlap each other and create further problems.
However problems in a relationship can also occur with sons and daughters, I know you primarily spoke on adult partnership, but children can also have an effect on a relationship.
Cheers
Ian
Thank you Ian – Yes I agree with your thoughts and concept with approach!
All such important post. I think insecurities and trust issues can really destroy a relationship if not resolved.
You shared two important keys are required to bring balance – Thank you!!
*all such good and important tips*
Thank you for your warm thoughts and words!!
Yes, correct!!!
We can all use a little enlightenment and uplifting from time to time Mihran… great post, my friend. 🙂
Thank you my friend – I am grateful for your thoughts – I agree with you – I do have a surprise to announce soon!!
Sound intriguing 🙂
Very thoughtful. Great post, Mihran. Warmly, Brenda
I deeply appreciate Brenda for your kind thoughts – Have a very a cheerful Weekend!
I will try for cheerful. It’s a good goal. 🙂
Mihran,
You make many good points birthed from the womb of experience. The biggest mistake I see people make in their relationships, especially romantic relationships, is to believe that ‘love’ is enough to make it work. Life is filled with troubles and the love in every relationship will be challenged repeatedly until a veil of the original barely binds the two together. Relationships are work plain and simple and if you are not wiling to put in the work then you do not deserve the relationship.
Many are fooled and disillusioned by the fabricated ‘fairytale’ love that never exists. Most people fall in “lust” with love having the possibility of arriving later or not. If each person in the relationship is not prepared to sacrifice everything they are and everything they have for the other person then they should not be in that relationship. The key is that BOTH must feel the same and act in the same manner of self-sacrifice toward the other or the relationship will be out of balance and toxic to both. I do not believe that most people are able to attain “true love” because they are too caught up in what makes them feel good, what pleases themselves, what are they getting out of it instead of thinking of the welfare of their partner. We live is a very selfish society with a belief in revolving relationships and we rationalize our behavior so we do not feel the responsibility that comes with each encounter we have. Every time we meet someone, engage in a relationship with them, or even become romantically involved we invest ourselves in their lives and they are then invested in ours. There are no such things as “casual” sexual relationships because you have given a piece of yourself to that person and he/she has given you a piece of themselves to you. Regardless of whether you continue a relationship with that person or not, you and he/she will always be part of one another beyond the physicality of the illustration.
Relationships are work and “self” should never be at the center of any relationship, even business relationships. Of course, this is just my humble opinion.
Dearest Tina – After reading your composition of details in reference big problems in a relationship, I am touched and humbled. I agree with you will all facts and key points you mentioned. Your reply was a completion of my composition, I felt I was watching a movie and realized your words shining once more.
Dearest Mihran,
Your composition was complete and thorough and I enjoyed reading your point of view. I am far behind in reading my friend’s posts as the winters are very difficult on my physical ailments but I have noticed you have posted several musical ones and I am anxious to hear them. I know they will be exquisite and may be just what my soul needs to caress it into health once again. Be well Mihran and thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your music and in your writing. It is an honor to call you friend. Blessings upon you.
Dearest Tina – Please accept my sincerest gratitude and appreciation. I hope your health will be progress and gives you the strength. Be Well and smile and let the music be your best medicine!
You’ve summed it up very well Mihran…greatly appreciated… 🙂
you have such stunning comments! Bravo!!
This is a great post Mihran. You handle a subject that many people need help on and you provide that help in an excellent manner to anybody who is willing to take it. Your post is so well written and so many people love it. Many more will do. As I continue to discover you I am amazed by your talent and pray that God may continue to empower and inspire you to keep lighting up the world.