Mihran Kalaydjian's Official Blog

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

8 Signs That Show You’re Doing Well in Life (Even if You Don’t Think So)

 

Did you ever scroll through social media profiles of influencers sharing their picture-perfect lives full of glamour and success and wondered how they got there?

If you’re anything like me, you later looked at your own life full of struggles, fears, and unaccomplished goals and felt frustrated about your own progress.

You might think of all the things you still need to take care of and wonder why your life feels so miserable while others seem so happy.

And most importantly, you feel like you’re massively behind in life.

You start to feel a little anxious. You believe you’ve made wrong choices and start to feel like a “failure.”

Sadly, wondering whether we’re “enough” is a common thought because comparing ourselves to others is now easier than ever before.

Social media and societal expectations make it hard to acknowledge our own progress because we’re so focused on what others are doing and achieving.

Yet the truth is, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, even if it might seem so at first sight.

We usually think that others are doing better because we only see the bright sides of their lives. And that’s partly because our perception of what a “good life” should look like is so screwed due to unrealistic expectations.

You might see someone’s big house and their fancy vacation photos, but you have no idea how peaceful or miserable they actually feel in that house or during that vacation.

Ultimately, “good” and “better” are based on your perspective. You can be happy with very little or own anything yet feel miserable.

The good news is, whether we’re doing well in life is mostly defined by small elements of our daily life:

You know what you *don’t* want

If you know that you don’t want a typical office job, you’re a huge step ahead — even if you don’t know exactly what kind of job you want instead.

You might not know what your ideal relationship would look like, but you might know exactly what you don’t want based on your previous experiences. This information alone will help you make the right decisions too.

You can celebrate the wins of others

So many people believe they need to constantly compete with their colleagues and friends while the truth is that we all can win.

We’re living in an abundant world full of options and opportunities for everyone, and it’s possible that we all do well in life.

You’re not hyped about every new trend

So many people’s purchasing decisions are based on what society and random ads tell them to buy. Similarly, their big life decisions are also shaped by those trends.

Escaping that cycle isn’t always easy, but it’s possible: You can live your life according to your own needs without following every new trend.

I used my last phone (a Samsung Galaxy S8) for almost five years until it broke down.

Phones are useful devices, but they can also be our greatest enemies. Most people spend way too much time staring at their screens anyway, so I consciously decide not to prioritize having the newest devices.

And I never understood why I should pay thousands of dollars for a new phone if I could get an older model for almost no money.

Once my old phone broke down, I extended my contract and got a new phone for free. It’s not the latest model but is a lot better than the previous one and does everything it should do. I’ll use it until it doesn’t get the job done anymore, and then I’ll get the next one.

The same is true for any other device I use in my daily life.

Most people live paycheck to paycheck because they’re drowning in small monthly payments for items they purchased to prove their social status.

If you can ignore those stupid games and make more thoughtful (and sustainable) choices, you’ll be able to detach yourself from that pressure to constantly buy things you don’t even care about and instead use your money to create a life you enjoy.

So many people think their material possessions will help them be happier or feel “more successful,” yet what truly happens is that they end up feeling miserable and drowning in consumer debt.

Luckily, genuine happiness isn’t rooted in “things” but in relationships and our inner emotions.

You’re a little skeptical

Questioning life helps you look beyond the surface and find new paths you’ve never thought about before.

Most people do whatever they’re told to do without ever asking why. They act like puppets because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.

By doing the opposite, you’re stepping up for yourself and showing the world that you want more than the ordinary.

You feel connected

The good news is, you don’t need dozens of friends. In fact, the number of relationships we can nourish at a given time is finite anyway, and it makes more sense to maintain a small number of meaningful relationships instead of having shallow conversations with hundreds of people.

And if you don’t feel that sense of connection yet, you can now start to consciously build your circle with like-minded people. You could, for instance, join local events and clubs to meet people with similar interests.

If that feels too hard, you could even just start by joining online communities, which might later lead to real-life friendships as well.

You know how to step back to enjoy life

Researchers even found that having a purpose can prolong our lives.

Having a strong purpose is also one of the common attributes of blue zones, which are five specific regions of the world where a great percentage of the population lives up to age 100 or more.

Yet, in Blue Zones, purpose isn’t necessarily defined by your work.

Their definitions are loosely translated as what makes life worth living. And if we’re honest, for most of us, our work isn’t what makes our lives more meaningful.

It’s our relationships, the voluntary work we do, or our hobbies that add meaning to our lives.

Yet more than half of America’s employees report that they lack proper work-life balance and work more hours than they feel comfortable with.

Working less and spending more time on other activities isn’t always easy because most of us grew up being told that we need to be hardworking to be worthy, yet it’s crucial.

And even just being aware of this fundamental truth is a step toward living a better life.

You’re not afraid of asking for help

We’re all good at certain things, yet we suck at others, and there’s no shame in being bad at something.

Whether it’s asking a friend or getting professional help — allowing yourself to get supported is the ultimate lifehack because it helps you save time and do things correctly instead of struggling on your own.

You can admit your mistakes

Blaming others is always easier and more comfortable, yet, it’s also what keeps us stuck.

If you can accept that it’s mostly your own choices and actions that have led you to your current life, you’re more self-aware and emotionally mature than most people will ever be.

Final thoughts

Even though we’d all like to have a little more stability and certainty in our lives, the truth is that we’ll never have it.

We’re all living for the first time, and each challenge we face just teaches us new lessons about ourselves and the world we’re surrounded by.

And even if we constantly want to improve ourselves and be happier, healthier, and wealthier, we need to stop sometimes and appreciate the progress we’ve already made.

At the end of the day, life is finite. So what’s the point of constantly chasing new goals if we never sit down and relax, never watch sunsets, or never dance until our feet hurt?

12 Things Your Partner Needs To Hear More Often

The daily maintenance of a relationship is so much easier when you employ even a few of these twelve phrases.

 

1. That You Want To Make Their Life Easier

2. That You Want To Keep Dating Them

3. That You Like Having Them Around

4. That You Want To Know About Their Day

5. What They Bring To Your Life

6. That You Support Them And Their Decisions

7. That You Find Them Attractive

8. That You Find Their Choices Attractive

9. That They Are A Priority

10. That You Still Appreciate Them

11. “I’m Sorry”

12. “I Love You”

Say It Loud, Say It Proud

27 Ways To Overcome Lack Of Ambition

Ambition is defined as the desire and determination to achieve success. The definition of “success” may vary from person to person and culture to culture, but the message remains the same: it’s important to have goals and the determination to complete them.

The Truth about Ambition

We all sometimes lack ambition. Even the most successful people in the world experience periods of failure and doubt. But they eventually succeed because their ambition reemerges, even in the wake of failure, rejection, and disappointment. Although it can be easy to fall into the trap of defeat when you encounter setbacks, ambition is not about never failing, it’s about getting up when you fall.

 

Ambition is not an inborn trait. It can be learned and cultivated, the same as any other positive trait. A lack of ambition can certainly be overcome. The possible irony, though, is that overcoming a lack of ambition requires a certain amount of ambition itself. After all, you’re creating a goal with the determination to follow through and achieve that goal. Happily, seeking out ways to improve your ambition is a step in the right direction!

27 Ways to Help Overcome a Lack of Ambition

In addition to resolving underlying issues, there are some steps you can take toward improving your ambition, or creating ambition where there previously wasn’t any. These steps may be completed on your own, or under the guidance of your mental health provider.

  1. Find a Mentor.

Finding someone to look up to whose success closely matches what you hope to achieve can help you find the drive to keep chasing your goals.

  1. Make Your Goals Visible.

Whether it’s a Pinterest board, index cards, or a whiteboard, create some form of visual representation of your goals so you can see exactly what it is you’re working toward.

  1. Stay Active.

Staying active improves confidence, mental acuity, and physical health-all things that can help you stay sharp as you work toward your goals. Find an activity you really love and stick with it.

  1. Give Success a Try.

f you’re feeling short on motivation, try accomplishing some of the steps you need to take to succeed. If you hope to secure a position writing for a major publication, visit your favorite coffee shop and spend the day writing. If you hope to have a family, ask to babysit for a friend.

  1. Build Up Support.

If all you see around you are people who are not pursuing their goals, you’re unlikely to pursue your goals either. Try to find friends who are also working toward their goals.

  1. Practice an “Abundance Mindset.”

Practice cultivating the mindset of abundance. See a failed relationship as just that: a single failed relationship. See a setback at your work as what it is: one setback. An abundance mindset believes there are always more to be had and always the possibility for improvement.

  1. Learn Yourself.

Personality and aptitude tests can offer a lot of insight into yourself-your motivations, your drives, and your pitfalls. Knowing yourself well can help you kickstart the desire to move forward when you’re in the midst of low motivation.

  1. Use Envy Well.

Instead of getting stuck in the mire of envy, allow it to fuel you. If you envy your friend’s recent cruise, start saving to go on your own. If you envy your sibling’s ability to purchase their dream home, sit down and determine what you need to get yours.

  1. Cultivate Your Talents.

Everyone has something they’re good at. Even if your talents don’t immediately seem impressive (“Who cares if I can juggle?”), there’s likely to be some grain of usefulness or joy in your abilities.

  1. Find a Need.

If you’re struggling to find motivation, look outward at how you can improve the lives of the people around you.

  1. Make Your Own Meaning.

Before you can truly and effectively chase success, you need to determine what exactly that means to you. Some people measure success by the money they make, while others measure success by the amount of time they’re able to devote to their loved ones or hobbies.

  1. Recall Your Triumphs.

Keep your triumphant moments close by for the days you feel you’ve lost all motivation. Recalling your successes can help you leave a funk behind and move forward in working toward your goals.

  1. Look Up to Someone.

Unlike a mentor, who is personally involved in your life, find someone whose successes you can admire from a distance. This could be someone who shares a similar background-someone who left poverty behind, for instance-or someone who shares your goals-such as someone who has worked their way to the top of their field in academia.

 

 

  1. Leave Negative Self-Talk Behind.

Negative self-talk may seem like merely speaking to yourself realistically, but it serves no function other than tearing yourself down. Instead of using negative speech when speaking to or of yourself, use clear and objective language. For instance, you can change “You’re no good at anything!” to “You struggled at work today, and that’s okay. You’ll try again tomorrow.”

  1. Respect the Process.

Success is a process, not a destination. There will always be another obstacle and another hill, so try to enjoy the process as it happens.

  1. Create a To-Do List.

Writing down everything you need to accomplish in the next day or the next week can help you free up some much-needed headspace, and can lend a sense of accomplishment to your day each time you get to check off another task.

  1. Daydream!

Imagine what your life will look like once your goals are realized. Although you should not live in fantasy, occasionally indulging in the imagined fruition of all of your hard work can be healthy and motivating.

  1. Use Your Passions.

Find things you’re passionate about, and see how they can help you work toward your goals. If you’re passionate about painting, but yearn for a career as a teacher, you can combine the two and work toward an art teaching degree. If you’re passionate about cooking, and hope to work in corporate law, you can use cooking as a means of decompressing and relaxing when your workload has grown too great.

  1. Seek Out Motivation

Motivation won’t always come to you-sometimes, you have to chase it. If you don’t feel like getting up in the morning, reward yourself with a trip to your favorite coffee shop. If you don’t want to complete the paper for your class, consider all the stress-free time you’ll have once the paper is finished.

  1. Leave Your Comfort Zone.

Comfort zones might feel safe, but they can also stagnate growth. Instead of living in your comfort zone, push yourself to adopt new challenges and try new things. The worst you can do is fail.

  1. Commit to Learning.

Learning is not something you leave behind after your diploma or degree. Every single day, spend some time learning something new. Read the paper while eating your breakfast, listen to a podcast on your commute to work, or even just ask a friend or coworker to tell you something new.

  1. Just Take One Step.

Put one foot in front of the other in pursuit of your goals. It doesn’t always have to be a giant step, such as moving across the country. It can be merely researching the cost of that move. Remember: planning is part of the work.

  1. Believe in Yourself.

You can do hard things! You can change your life. Even when circumstances have given you a rough run, believe you are bigger than your background.

  1. Ask for Help.

When it becomes too much-you’re overworked, or the demands on your time are too much to handle-ask for help! Bring in a trusted friend, a family member, or a coworker, and lighten your load. There’s no shame in teamwork.

  1. Do Your Research.

Blindly following your dreams can be dangerous. If you move across the country to pursue acting, only to find that you would have to work three jobs (jobs you do not have) to afford a single studio apartment, you’re putting yourself at risk. Instead, identify what steps you need to take to move toward your goals, and take the necessary time to achieve them.

  1. Evaluate What Is Important to You.

Sometimes goals shift and needs change. Perhaps your relationship is more important to you than the career you’ve always imagined. Perhaps your career is more important than the family you wanted. Give yourself the space to change your plans as you go along. Few things kill motivation as effectively as rigidity.

  1. Work On Yourself Daily.

You’ll falter. You’ll lose hope. But keep working on yourself! You’re the person who will be with you every step of the way, so make sure you’re cultivating traits and behaviors that you like and can be proud of. Watching yourself become the person you’ve always dreamed of is a powerful motivator.

 

The Difference Between Happiness & Satisfaction: A Psychologist Explains

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that “Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct.” As humans, we often believe that when we buy a house, or fall in love, or receive that well-deserved promotion at work, we will be truly happy. But why do we infer that happiness is only attainable through milestone events or achievements?

The reality of this tendency is that it may not be happiness that we are seeking and experiencing on a daily basis but instead satisfaction. Perhaps we live our day-to-day lives pursuing the things that make us happy, which then contributes to our overall sense of satisfaction.

If you look up happiness and satisfaction in a dictionary, the two definitions are quite similar. Both use words such as “joy” and “contentment,” describing a pleasant and delighted emotion. But why is it then that people often say, “Do what makes you happy” but never think to advise “Pursue what satisfies you”? It may have a different ring to it, but it is a good indicator of a different sense of contentment.

We reached out to cognitive behavioral therapist and clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman, Psy.D., to better distinguish happiness and satisfaction.

The difference between happiness and satisfaction.

Research shows that the most frequent uses of the word happiness revolve around describing someone’s personality, as in being characterized as a happy person. It is also used in association with materialism and experientialism, conveying that when you purchase or experience something, you may experience happiness. Although definitions are vague and vary, happiness ultimately seeks to portray a moment of temporary bliss.

“Happiness is fleeting,” Guttman explains. “Happiness is a feeling someone gets when they experience something out of the ordinary that brings them joy. With that feeling, a neurotransmitter, dopamine, is released, which gives us an elevated mood state. However, this elevated mood state is not sustainable because it’s reliant on the release of this neurotransmitter.”

Satisfaction, on the other hand, is an enduring feeling experienced for a longer period of time, as a result of the collection of life events and feelings you’ve experienced. Guttman describes satisfaction as a more balanced, sustainable state because it’s not neurotransmitter-dependent the way happiness is.

Or as Daniel Kahneman, Ph.D., Nobel Prize winner and psychologistexplained in his TED Talk, we experience happiness in our lives as well as happiness with our lives. This latter principle is akin to the concept of satisfaction, which we experience more frequently and thus influences our attitudes and behaviors. Satisfaction is a better indicator of how content we feel toward our lives overall and may contribute to more mindful decisions that bring our lives meaning.

For example, you come home from a long day at work and are greeted by a package at your front door of a new pair of shoes that you had ordered a few days prior. At the moment of opening that package, you might experience excitement and happiness. The moment then passes, and you are onto your next activity. However, each day you wear those shoes, you are reminded of your purchase and are satisfied. Therefore, feeling satisfied has a longer-lasting impact on people’s moods, whereas experiencing happiness is an instantaneous, temporary sensation.

Which is more important?

Guttman describes satisfaction as a more long-term and tangible solution than happiness. “When people think ‘happy’ as joy or effervescence is attainable, it creates cognitive dissonance when that feeling is not sustainable,” she explains.

That said, happiness and satisfaction are intertwined, as “most people experience satisfaction on an ongoing basis, interspersed with moments of happiness,” Guttman explains. “They are both attainable, but satisfaction is more sustainable.”

Life satisfaction is often associated with positive mental and physical health and contributes to overall well-being. Other research also suggests that strong personality traits are linked to having high life satisfaction. Additionally, recognizing your feelings of satisfaction may contribute to a more mindful and positive way of living. These attributes may help shift your perspective on your own life and leave you feeling more purposeful and fulfilled.

How to get more satisfaction in your life:

1. Develop a strong sense of self.

“People become more satisfied by becoming more self-confident, self-reliant, by developing a strong sense of self, by developing a sense of their effectiveness in the world, and by believing in their inherent lovability,” Guttman says.

To strengthen your sense of self, she recommends finishing tasks (not just starting them), making decisions for yourself, facing fears, and avoiding people-pleasing behaviors. Facing your fears, for example, may not make you happy—but it sure is satisfying.

2. Write down at least one good thing that you experience each day.

As the saying goes: Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day. Especially in today’s current climate, you may feel that your daily routine has become redundant and complacent. However, it is all about where you channel your energy and focus. Whether you meet an old friend for lunch or go for a relaxing bike ride, write it down. Those moments will turn into memories and will leave you feeling more grateful and optimistic in the long run, as you are able to go back and read them. The benefits of gratitude are all about creating a sense of lifelong satisfaction, as opposed to simply seeking moments of exuberant happiness.

3. Put yourself out there.

Some research suggests extroversion is associated with more life satisfaction and overall well-being. Despite this pandemic, it is easier than ever to reach out to someone and make a new friend. From becoming a pen pal with a patient in a nursing home to just messaging an old friend you’ve lost touch with, you may rekindle or create new friendships that could enhance your interpersonal skills and revitalize your daily routine.

The bottom line.

Making happiness your destination may cause you to miss out on this exciting journey of life, a journey that has many twists and turns, with new opportunities appearing each day. Recognizing what makes you feel satisfied, on the other hand, can contribute to a more positive attitude and outlook on life while feeling more fulfilled. By living through this lens, we can experience not just moments of happiness but a lifestyle that is enduringly satisfying.

20 Most Beautiful Islands in the World

20. Mo’orea, French Polynesia

Mo’orea is a volcanically formed island in the French Polynesia, reachable from nearby Tahiti by high-speed Cataraman. Expect pristine white powder sanded beaches, bright turquoise waters, staggering emerald green cliffs and luxury hotels with over-water bungalows. Mo’orea is ideal for honeymooners who want a lesser known destination. Recommended hotels include Hilton Moorea Lagoon Resort (pictured) & Sofitel Moorea Ia Ora.

19. Jamaica

 

18. Boracay, Phillipines

17. Waiheke Island, New Zealand

16. Capri, Italy

15. Ko Phi Phi, Thailand

14. St Lucia

13. Whitsunday Islands, Australia

12. Kaua’i

11. Fiji

10. The Dalmatian Islands, Croatia

9. Bali, Indonesia

8. The Cook Islands

7. Santorini

6. Palawan, Phillipines

5. Mauritius, Africa

4. Bora Bora, French Polynesia

3. Seychelles

2. Maui, Hawaii

1. Maldives

MERRY CHRISTMAS – JOY TO THE WORLD

Yet another year has almost come to an end and with the magical time of Christmas waiting just around the corner and a new year impatiently waiting to get started, I wish you and your loved ones Happy Hollidays, Merry Christmas and a very good and successful New Year. 


I hope that the coming new year will bring lots of optimism and positivity into your live and that Santa Claus will be especially good to you and every one dear to you. 

Special Wishes for a wonderful Christmas Season
and for a Happy New Year filled with fun and happiness.

 

 

Mihran Kalaydjian Playing Love Me Sheri Bessi

Mihran Kalaydjian Playing Love Me Sheri Bessi

 

 

Melody: Love Me ” Sheri Bessi”
Lyrics: Edward Khoury & Elias Bandak
Music Arrangements: Edward Khoury
Pianist: Mihran Kalaydjian ” Mino”
Record Labels: Paramount Studios
Location: Coronado Island, San Diego
Love Me Sheri Bessi

When I am with you, I am giddy, youthful, like
savoring expensive dark chocolate; I’m satisfied.
Smiling from ear to ear just looking at you.
There’s never a dull moment with you; exciting.

When you speak, your gorgeous voice sounds like
music, causing chills to literally go up and
down my spine, moments to treasure captured
in a locket draping me forever.

A pearl inside the shell, such a rarity,
we were destined to be, I love you, you love me.
If there’s a clash there’s no crash, we ride,
joy splashes across our lives; magically.

When you caress me, I’m secure; a cashmere
blanket, I wear it with diamond sprinkles
twinkling in my eyes, crystal stilettos adorn
my feet as I dance the waves to the rhythm of you.

Speaking of eyes, I see visions of ecstasy,
dreams of harmony, whimsical sea horses bowing
down to lift us, as we ride this exhilarating
wave of love, the big one; surfing on it.

Sparkling sea waters glistening like sapphire as
an approval while we surf in and out of time,
we ride, we ride, a love ’til we die, we ride
this exhilarating wave of love divine.

 

 

Tape And Glue

Tape And Glue

”My heart is very fragile, held together
By a bit of tape and glue.
It can’t handle being shattered again;
Keep it safe and hold it close,
So that it might heal.”
Unable to deal with another blow,
I gave you the opportunity to
Revive or repress my happiness.
Would you dropp my weakened heart
All in due time?
I couldn’t predict the outcome.
You worked your way into it.
The tape and glue fell away
As you took their place in
Piecing it together and repairing my wounds
With your tender love that fills
The once gaping, hollow spaces where
Missing components were never regained
And the cracks that were forged
Through the most powerful of pressures.
The last remedy that has a possibility
Of succeeding is your time, your love,
And your life.
For now my heart is strong,
With your essence infused within it,
But if you were to attempt to
Abandon it, when you provide its
Only structure, the slivers that remain
Would hardly be salvageable
And forced to be scrapped.
You’ve made a permanent mark
On this once battered, worn,
Torn and tattered heart, and
It can no longer survive without you. 

 

After-Sensations

WHEN the vine again is blowing,

Then the wine moves in the cask;
When the rose again is glowing,

Wherefore should I feel oppress’d?

Down my cheeks run tears all-burning,

If I do, or leave my task;
I but feel a speechless yearning,

That pervades my inmost breast.

But at length I see the reason,

When the question I would ask:
‘Twas in such a beauteous season,

Doris glowed to make me blest! 

Love Is Blind

Love Is Blind

Sometimes people go their whole life,
looking for that one, special person.
Sometimes they find what they’re looking for,
when others come back empty handed.
And sometimes, you will find that the one you’ve been looking for,
was standing infront of you the whole time.
Sometimes, love is blind.

Years of love,
Many years of friendship.
One kiss was all it took.

I look into your eyes,
and I fall deep in love;
everytime.

Your love,
Your passion,
Your tenderness.

In your heart,
in your eyes
and in your arms;
I feel so safe.

You are like an angel,
Rays of beauty erupts from the sky.
You, like a mountian calls my name;
And I anwser.

I love you like it’s set in stone.
I’ll love you forever,
and that is all we’ve known.

No more ‘what if’s’
No more ‘could be’s’
Becuase you,
only my eyes see.

Not only knowing,
until you open your eyes.
To a life of happiness
because sometimes,
Love is blind.

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