Navigating the Path to Success through Resilience and Learning
Abstract: This academic piece explores the concept of failure as an intrinsic and transformative element on the journey to success. By examining the psychological, social, and educational dimensions of failure, we delve into the ways individuals can harness setbacks as stepping stones toward personal and professional growth. Through resilience, adaptability, and a mindset shift, failure becomes a catalyst for innovation, self-discovery, and long-term success.
Introduction: In the pursuit of personal and professional excellence, the fear of failure often looms large. However, this paper posits that failure, rather than being a stumbling block, can serve as a valuable stepstone toward success. The exploration of failure as an essential component in the learning process is not only a psychological shift but also a socio-educational imperative.
Psychological Dimensions of Failure: Understanding the psychological impact of failure is paramount to embracing it as a constructive force. The fear of failure often stems from societal expectations, self-imposed pressures, and the misconception that success is a linear trajectory. Psychologists argue that reframing failure as a natural part of the learning journey reduces anxiety and fosters resilience. Embracing failure as a psychological pivot point can lead to increased self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
Resilience and Adaptability: Resilience, defined as the ability to bounce back from adversity, plays a crucial role in transforming failure into a stepping stone. Individuals who cultivate resilience view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. Adaptability, another key trait, allows individuals to adjust their strategies, learn from failures, and approach challenges with a dynamic mindset. Together, resilience and adaptability create a formidable toolkit for navigating the complexities of personal and professional life.
Learning from Failure: Central to the concept of failure as a stepping stone is the emphasis on learning. Failures, when dissected and analyzed, provide invaluable lessons. Whether in academia, business, or personal endeavors, the process of learning from failure demands reflection, feedback analysis, and a commitment to continuous improvement. Learning from failure not only enhances individual knowledge but also contributes to collective wisdom, fostering innovation and progress.
Educational Dimensions: In educational settings, the fear of failure can hinder creativity and critical thinking. This paper argues for a paradigm shift in educational systems, where failure is not penalized but embraced as a catalyst for innovation. Incorporating failure-tolerant environments, project-based learning, and mentorship programs can nurture resilience and prepare students for the challenges of the real world.
Conclusion: Failure, when viewed through the lens of resilience, adaptability, and a commitment to learning, becomes a transformative force on the path to success. By shifting the narrative around failure from one of shame to one of growth, individuals and societies can unlock the potential for innovation,personal development, and lasting success.
Stay tuned for more!
Determining the true value of Great Content and how it aligns with your interests can be challenging.
Few things are as costly and disruptive as leaders who kill morale. Demotivated employees underperform and then walk out the door at the first opportunity.
The scariest thing is how prevalent this lack of motivation is. Gallup research shows that 70% of employees consider themselves to be disengaged at work.
Organizations know how important it is to have motivated, engaged employees, but most fail to hold leaders accountable for making it happen. When they don’t, the bottom line suffers.
Research from the University of California found that motivated employees were 31% more productive, had 37% higher sales, and were three times more creative than demotivated employees. They were also 87% less likely to quit, according to a Corporate Leadership Council study on over 50,000 people.
Gallup research shows that a mind-boggling 70% of an employee’s motivation is influenced by his or her manager. It’s no wonder employees don’t leave jobs; they leave managers.
First, Quit Making Things Worse
Before leaders can start creating motivated, engaged employees, there are some critical things that they need to stop doing. What follows are some of the worst behaviors that leaders need to eradicate from the workplace.
Making a lot of stupid rules. Companies need to have rules—that’s a given—but they don’t have to be short sighted and lazy attempts at creating order. Whether it’s an overzealous attendance policy or taking employees’ frequent flier miles, even a couple of unnecessary rules can drive people crazy. When good employees feel like big brother is watching, they’ll find someplace else to work.
Letting accomplishments go unrecognized. It’s easy to underestimate the power of a pat on the back, especially with top performers who are intrinsically motivated. Everyone likes kudos, none more so than those who work hard and give their all. Rewarding individual accomplishments shows that you’re paying attention. Managers need to communicate with their people to find out what makes them feel good (for some, it’s a raise; for others, it’s public recognition) and then to reward them for a job well done. With top performers, this will happen often if you’re doing it right.
Hiring and promoting the wrong people. Good, hard-working employees want to work with like-minded professionals. When managers don’t do the hard work of hiring good people, it’s a major demotivator for those stuck working alongside them. Promoting the wrong people is even worse. When you work your tail off only to get passed over for a promotion that’s given to someone who glad-handed their way to the top, it’s a massive insult. No wonder it makes good people leave.
Treating everyone equally. While this tactic works with school children, the workplace ought to function differently. Treating everyone equally shows your top performers that no matter how high they perform (and, typically, top performers are work horses), they will be treated the same as the bozo who does nothing more than punch the clock.
Tolerating poor performance. It’s said that in jazz bands, the band is only as good as the worst player; no matter how great some members may be, everyone hears the worst player. The same goes for a company. When you permit weak links to exist without consequence, they drag everyone else down, especially your top performers.
Going back on their commitments. Making promises to people places you on the fine line that lies between making them very happy and watching them walk out the door. When you uphold a commitment, you grow in the eyes of your employees because you prove yourself to be trustworthy and honorable (two very important qualities in a boss). But when you disregard your commitment, you come across as slimy, uncaring, and disrespectful. After all, if the boss doesn’t honor his or her commitments, why should everyone else?
Being apathetic. More than half of people who leave their jobs do so because of their relationship with their boss. Smart companies make certain their managers know how to balance being professional with being human. These are the bosses who celebrate an employee’s success, empathize with those going through hard times, and challenge people, even when it hurts. Bosses who fail to really care will always have high turnover rates. It’s impossible to work for someone eight-plus hours a day when they aren’t personally involved and don’t care about anything other than your productivity.
Then, Make Things Better
Once leaders have eradicated the seven negative behaviors that demotivate their best people, it’s time to replace them with the following seven behaviors that make people love their jobs.
Follow the platinum rule. The Golden Rule (treat others as you want to be treated) has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores the fact that people are motivated by vastly different things. One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the center of attention. The Platinum Rule (treat others as they want to be treated) corrects that flaw. Good managers are great at reading other people, and they adjust their behavior and style accordingly.
Be strong without being harsh. Strength is an important quality in a leader. People will wait to see if a leader is strong before they decide to follow his or her lead or not. People need courage in their leaders. They need someone who can make difficult decisions and watch over the good of the group. They need a leader who will stay the course when things get tough. People are far more likely to show strength themselves when their leader does the same. A lot of leaders mistake domineering, controlling, and otherwise harsh behavior for strength. They think that taking control and pushing people around will somehow inspire a loyal following. Strength isn’t something you can force on people; it’s something you earn by demonstrating it time and again in the face of adversity. Only then will people trust that they should follow you.
Remember that communication is a two-way street. Many managers think that they’re great communicators, not realizing that they’re only communicating in one direction. Some pride themselves on being approachable and easily accessible, yet they don’t really hear the ideas that people share with them. Some managers don’t set goals or provide context for the things they ask people to do, and others never offer feedback, leaving people wondering if they’re more likely to get promoted or fired.
Be a role model, not a preacher. Great leaders inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that integrity is important to them, but great leaders walk their talk by demonstrating integrity every day. Harping on people all day long about the behavior you want to see has a tiny fraction of the impact you achieve by demonstrating that behavior yourself.
Be transparent. Good managers are transparent and forthcoming about company goals, expectations, and plans. When managers try to sugarcoat, mask, or euphemize in order to make things seem better than they are, employees see right through it.
Be humble. Few things kill motivation as quickly as a boss’s arrogance. Great bosses don’t act as though they’re better than you, because they don’t think that they’re better than you. Rather than being a source of prestige, they see their leadership position as bringing them additional accountability for serving those who follow them.
Take a genuine interest in employees’ work-life balance. Nothing burns good employees out quite like overworking them. It’s so tempting to work your best people hard that managers frequently fall into this trap. Overworking good employees is perplexing to them; it makes them feel as if they’re being punished for their great performance. Overworking employees is also counterproductive. New research from Stanford shows that productivity per hour declines sharply when the workweek exceeds 50 hours, and productivity drops off so much after 55 hours that you don’t get anything out of the extra time spent.
Bringing It All Together
If you cultivate the characteristics above and avoid the demotivators, you’ll become the kind of boss that people remember for the rest of their careers.
Have you seen these motivators and demotivators in action? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
HATE CRIMES – As summer fades into fall, for Jews around the world the High Holy Days approach. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is a time of elation and celebration, when the observant and non-observant alike rejoice with their families and friends and look forward to the promise of the next year. Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is a holiday during which Jews reflect on the year just passed and decide how to make amends for any transgressions in the past year. Together these two holidays mark an important time, a time in which they ponder just what being Jewish means to them.
Unfortunately for many Jews, this is a time in which they are all too aware of the rising number of hate crimes directed at them for no reason other than their faith.
According to the FBI’s annual data on hate crimes, defined as criminal offenses which are motivated by bias, crimes targeting the Jewish community consistently constitute over half of all religion-based crimes. The number of hate crimes against Jews has ranged between 600 and 1,200 each year since the FBI began collecting data in the 1990s. There were 683 hate crimes against Jews in 2020, 963 in 2019 and 847 in 2018. Worse still, the FBI’s data is based on voluntary reporting by local law enforcement. For a variety of reasons, dozens of large cities either underreport or do not report hate crime data at all.
The above statistics were reported by the Anti-Defamation League, which also reported in its annual Audit of Antisemitic incidents that in 2020, it tabulated 2,024 reported antisemitic incidents throughout the country, the third-highest year on record since ADL began tracking antisemitic incidents in 1979.
The ADL audit goes on to report that of the 2,024 incidents recorded in 2020, 1,242 were cases of harassment, a 10% increase from 1,127 in 2019.
But Jew hate is not confined to harassment and attacks against Jewish persons. The ADL audit details that in 2020, there were 327 reported antisemitic incidents at Jewish institutions such as synagogues, Jewish community centers and Jewish schools, an increase of 40% from 234 in 2019. Two hundred and sixty-four (264) were incidents of harassment, 61 were incidents of vandalism and three were incidents of assault. Of the 264 incidents of harassment, 114 were “zoom bombings”, incidents where virtual meetings were interrupted by hate speech against Jews. Add to this the white supremacist fleering incidents, anti-Israel extremist protests and acts of vandalism against those institutions, and it is clear that Jews are facing increasingly vitriolic and hateful rhetoric and incidents.
From 2018 to 2020, the ADL audit continues, “between seven and nine percent of antisemitic incidents reported to ADL have explicitly incorporated anti-Israel or anti-Zionist elements. This includes Jewish people being told they should “go back to Israel,” synagogues being vandalized with pro-Palestinian graffiti, the distribution of flyers blaming Israel for perpetrating the 9/11 terrorist attacks, or Jewish students being harassed or excluded from student life because of their real or assumed connections to Israel. In January 2022, an individual was arrested by detectives with the New York Police Department Hate Crimes Task Force for using antisemitic slurs while physically assaulting a Jewish man who refused his demands to remove a sweatshirt with the logo of the Israel Defense Forces.”
As if all that is not enough, antisemitic incidents in this country seem to rise during and after peaks in military conflict in the Middle East. After the May 2021 conflict between Israel and Hamas, antisemitic incidents more than doubled, compared to the same time period in 2020.
The list of examples of extremists and antisemites perpetrating deadly violence against Jews is a long one, too long to list here in this article (to see the list, visit the ADL website at adl.org). But the bottom line is this: at just the time that they are celebrating the most important and sacred holidays on their calendar, Jews face the reality that they have increasingly become targets for hate from extremists, from terrorists, and from the ignorant who walk among us. As Jews ready for their New Year and Day of Atonement, let us resolve to redouble our efforts to fight hate of ALL types.
Let us DEMAND from our elected leaders more than just words, but strong action against hate crimes. Let us resolve that within each of our neighborhoods, within our college and university campuses, and on our streets hate of ALL types will NOT be accepted. Together we can work to make our society one that accepts all who are different from ourselves and make our society one that will make it clear that hate is NEVER acceptable, Let us all pray for the day when hate against Jews, and all others, is but a dim and unpleasant memory.
Life is a constant stream of change, and as time flows, we should evolve along with it, should always striving to embrace the opportunity to become a better version of ourselves.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably pondered about becoming a better version of yourself.
Well, good news: the path to personal growth doesn’t have to be complicated.
In fact, I’ve discovered four simple steps that have helped me transform my life in meaningful ways. Let’s dive in and explore these steps together.
Step 1: Set Clear Goals
Picture this: You’re on a road trip without a map or a destination in mind. You’ll likely end up lost and frustrated.
Similarly, setting clear goals is like charting a map for your personal growth journey.
Define what you want to achieve, whether it’s landing that dream job, improving your fitness, or nurturing your relationships.
For instance, let’s say you want to improve your health. Instead of vaguely saying, “I want to get fit,” set a specific goal like, “I will jog for 30 minutes every morning and reduce sugary snacks to twice a week.”
This clarity will guide your actions and keep you motivated.
Step 2: Continuous Learning
Imagine life as a never-ending classroom, where each experience is an opportunity to learn.
Whether it’s picking up a new skill, reading a book, or simply reflecting on your day, continuous learning keeps your mind sharp and your perspective fresh.
Consider this: You’re learning to play the guitar. At first, your fingers fumble, and the chords sound off.
But with practice and patience, your skills improve.
Embrace this process in all areas of life, and soon you’ll realize how much growth comes from simply being open to learning.
Step 3: Embrace Failure as a Friend
Let’s face it, we all stumble sometimes.
But instead of letting failure discourage you, see it as a stepping stone.
Think about learning to ride a bike.
Did you master it without a few falls? Each stumble taught you balance and resilience.
In the same way, don’t let setbacks define you.
Use them to learn, adapt, and grow. Remember, failure is a sign that you’re pushing your boundaries and trying new things.
Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion
Think about how you treat your closest friend when they’re going through a tough time. Chances are, you offer them understanding, kindness, and encouragement.
Now, why not treat yourself the same way?
Being kind to yourself, especially during setbacks, is essential for personal growth. Imagine you’re struggling with a project at work.
Instead of berating yourself for not getting it right, take a moment to acknowledge your effort and remind yourself that mistakes happen.
This self-compassion not only boosts your self-esteem but also fuels your determination to keep improving.
Conclusion:
Becoming a better version of yourself is a journey worth taking, and it doesn’t have to be complicated.
By setting clear goals, embracing continuous learning, seeing failure as an opportunity, and practicing self-compassion, you’re well on your way to meaningful personal growth.
Just remember, this journey is uniquely yours.
Celebrate every small victory, learn from every stumble, and watch yourself blossom into the incredible person you’re meant to be.
When you’re new to the gym (or to anything for that matter), it’s not uncommon to be quite impressionable at first.
This is a whole new world, and if the nice person in the Gold’s Gym stringer tank top is taking time between their sets of hammer curls to espouse their wisdom, it must be worth listening to, right?
Well, sometimes.
Over the last 17 years, I’ve gotten some invaluable advice about nutrition, strength training, and overall longevity just by having some really intelligent and generous mentors as training partners.
I’ve also heard — and at times, listened — to advice that was quite exaggerated at best and complete BS at worst.
This is by no means an all-encompassing list (we’d be here for quite a bit longer than a “four-minute read” if it were), but these are four examples of said “advice” that immediately come to mind.
The reality is that consuming too many calories, in general, can cause you to gain weight — whether those calories are from carbohydrates, proteins or fats.
Carbs can certainly be the easiest to overindulge on; for example, it’s relatively easy to kill a 2 liter of soda in a day (or an hour .. or a few minutes) — but an equal amount of calories from a lean protein source like chicken breast would leave you feeling stuffed.
So seeing as they’re not very satiating, it’s probably a good idea to keep your refined carbohydrate intake to a minimum if fat loss if your goal. But that doesn’t mean you can’t fit a sweet treat in your diet if you’ve got room for it in your caloric “budget.”
Overall, a net caloric surplus or deficit is going to dictate your weight gain or loss — not a short-term insulin spike from a chocolate chip cookie.
2. You need to do 4+ exercises for the same muscle group in a single workout
On “chest day,” I used to train flat barbell bench, incline barbell bench, flat dumbbell bench, dumbbell flyes, and finally cable crossovers in a single workout to make sure I was hitting “all angles of the chest” as fully as possible.
This is simply unnecessary.
You don’t need to hit 10 different exercises at 10 different angles for the same muscle group — especially in a single workout. Picking 1 or 2 exercises and putting 100% effort into them will be plenty to stimulate progress in a single training session.
If you want to do four different exercises for a single muscle, split them up between two separate days. Going back to the chest as an example; you could do flat barbell bench and cable flyes on Monday, then come back and do incline dumbbell bench and a pushup variation on Thursday.
You’re still hitting four exercises — but because you’re only doing two per session, you’ll be less fatigued and, therefore able to perform much higher quality repetitions than if you were to cram all of those movements into a single workout.
3. You MUST eat every 2 hours
It used to be all the rage in bodybuilding circles that eating a standard six meals per day would “keep the metabolism stoked” and therefore burn more calories than normal. Recent evidence has shown otherwise.
“Some experts claim that if you eat 6 to 9 meals a day and stick to your daily calorie intake, your metabolism will be dramatically improved and your muscle will grow quicker.
This hypothesis was well disregarded when studies found that the rate of metabolism is still the same if you eat 9 times a day or 3 times a day.” — Fast Fuel Meals
What matters most when it comes to body composition is the total amount of calories consumed per day. To optimize muscle building, it probably is best to evenly distribute your protein intake throughout the day (to keep muscle protein synthesis elevated) as opposed to trying to eat an entire day’s worth in a single setting.
But there is no magic switch that switches your metabolism to “off” once you hit the two-hour and one-minute mark between meals.
4. Deadlifts and squats are bad for your back
My lower back feels the best it has in years. Ironically, I’m also doing more barbell squatting and deadlifting than I have in years.
These things aren’t inherently “bad for your back” — they’re actually really good at helping you build a stronger back. Doing these things with shoddy technique and/or with more weight than you can handle can be bad for your back, which is where the reputation of them being “bad for our back/knees/hips” mostly comes from to begin with.
Einstein said that once you stop learning, you start dying.
This is good news for fitness fanatics; there seems to be a never-ending supply of myths and bodybuilding lore that we learn to be gospel one day and learn to refute as hyperbole the next.
If you’ve ever felt like your emotions were “too intense” or “out of control” you’re not alone. Many people experience emotional intensity that seems excessive or disproportionate.
But the reason emotions feel out of control often has less to do with your emotions themselves and more to do with habits that magnify them…
The habit of worry magnifies normal fear into anxiety and panic.
The habit of self-criticism magnifies normal sadness into shame and hopelessness.
The habit of rumination magnifies normal frustration into anger and rage.
Mental habits take normal levels of emotion and make them far more intense and long-lasting. Which means…
If you want to feel more in control of your emotions, you must take control of the habits that govern them.
Learn to identify and eliminate these habits and you will discover that your emotions are far more manageable than you ever thought possible.
1. Relying on other people for comfort
Nothing could be more natural than to go to other people for comfort when you’re upset or in distress.
In fact, this is how most of us learn to deal with life’s difficulties — we have a supportive parent or caregiver in our life who is empathetic and comforting when we’re upset. The way they handle our painful emotions becomes a model for how we can deal with them as we mature.
Unfortunately, sometimes this process sometimes goes awry.
For all sorts of reasons, learning to self-soothe and effectively manage our own emotional struggles can get disrupted:
Some people, for example, have early traumatic events in their lives that sabotage this process of learning to self-soothe.
For others, they might learn at a young age that they can get relief faster and more easily by simply going to other people, and as a result, their capacity to self-soothe becomes underdeveloped as they age.
In any case, the core problem is this:
While it’s good to have other people as a source of comfort, it’s risky to rely on them.
When other people become your sole means of managing your emotional distress, it erodes your self-confidence.
This means difficult emotions will be themselves painful. But more than that, you’ll also have the fear of being inadequate to handle them yourself, which effectively multiplies the intensity of every painful emotion you experience. Being afraid of feeling sad, for example, will only make you feel worse.
The solution is to practice managing difficult feelings on your own even if you could get relief and comfort from someone else. Ideally, you would start with small things and gradually work your way up.
But regardless, you must strengthen your capacity to comfort yourself.
Your emotions will always feel out of control until you develop some confidence in your own ability to manage them well.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
2. Being judgmental of your own emotions
Just because your emotions feel bad doesn’t mean they are bad.
Unfortunately, most of us are raised to believe that this is true. We grow up being taught that painful emotions are problems — like germs we need to be rid off or problems that need to be solved:
That we’re weak if we feel sad and discouraged.
That we’re broken or malfunctioning if we get anxious and worry “too much.”
That we’re sinful or morally deficient if we feel angry toward people.
But there’s the thing:
Emotions aren’t good or bad any more than rain or snow is good or bad.
You may not like certain emotions. Some may be uncomfortable or painful. Some may make it hard to do certain things. But to place a value judgment on an emotion doesn’t make any sense.
And the reason? Because you can’t control your emotions. Not directly, anyway.
You can’t just decide to turn up your happiness meter any more than you can decide to turn down your anxiety dial.
Emotions don’t work that way!
But aside from not being realistic, there’s another problem with judging yourself for how you feel:
When you criticize yourself for feeling anxious, will you end up feeling guilty for feeling anxious.
When you worry about feeling sad, you will end up feeling anxious about feeling sad.
When you put yourself down for feeling angry, you will end up feeling angry about being angry!
When you get judgmental about your emotions, you only compound their intensity and duration.
Think about this: No one goes to jail for feeling really angry. You only get sent to jail for acting aggressively.
As a society, we don’t judge people by their emotions, only their actions.
If you want to start feeling less emotionally volatile, stop criticizing yourself for the way you feel.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
— Joseph Campell
3. Believing your thoughts unconditionally
It’s a funny thing that we’re so trusting of our own thoughts.
Perhaps because our culture tends to glorify our capacity for thinking and problem-solving, we make the mistake of assuming our thoughts are always true and helpful.
This is especially the case when it comes to thoughts about ourselves or how we feel:
After a coworker makes a rude comment about you during a meeting, the first thought that pops into mind is “Great, now everyone thinks I’m an idiot…”
As you drive to your daughter’s soccer game, the thought pops into mind that with a single movement you could swerve off the side of the road and your whole family would die. Then you immediately think to yourself, “Oh my God, what’s wrong with me?” The assumption being that your thought about swerving off the road was somehow true or meaningful.
But here’s the thing:
Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true.
Many people’s emotions quickly start to feel out of control because they insist that everything in their mind is meaningful. As a result, they end up thinking endlessly about every little thought, feeling, mood, desire, memory, and emotion that pops into consciousness.
But for all its wonders, the human mind produces a lot of junk too.
Often a particular thought is just random mental noise. But if you insist on telling yourself a story about it and what it may or may not mean, you’re inviting in wave after wave of emotion — and often not the fun kind.
If you want to feel more in control of your emotions, practice being skeptical of your own thoughts.
If a thought seems obviously absurd or ridiculous, remind yourself that it could just be random noise — as meaningless and unworthy of your attention as an unexpected gust of wind.
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
― Marcus Aurelius
4. Not taking care of your body
Ever since Descartes, we’ve been fixated on the idea that it’s brain and body, or worse, brain vs body. Think of the common sayings “mind over matter” or “it’s all in your head.”
Of course, this is ridiculous…
Your brain is part of your body. And your mind doesn’t work all that well without a functioning body.
Of course, this is obvious in the extreme case — deprive the brain of oxygen via a heart attack or stroke and your mind dies along with the rest of your body. But it’s also true on a much smaller scale….
The future is being built now with robotics, artificial intelligence, and all kinds of automation that will take over many of the skills we perform today. But there are some skills that we will need for the future, skills that can’t be automated. If you want to excel in the years to come, make sure you’re up to speed in these areas:
Communication. If you’re in leadership, how you communicate, what you communicate and—most of all—how you listen are all supremely important. In communication, it’s the tone that inspires and the spirit that motivates. No robot or machine could ever have the same effect as a leader with great communication skills. Knowing how to communicate is all about creating and clarifying expectations. It’s important to communicate not just what you want someone to do and (without micromanaging) how they should do it but also why you want it to be done and why the person you’re asking is the best person for the job. People want meaning, so communication will always be a crucial leadership skill.
Engagement. Gone are the days of a leader sitting at their desk with the door closed. That doesn’t work (and really, it never did). For any enterprise to excel and achieve its goals leaders need to value engagement, because great leadership begins with connection. When we understand that despite the ways in which we differ we’re all alike in our desire for acceptance and connection, we can recognize those needs in ourselves—and in others. That’s when we can truly make a difference, and it requires human connection.
Influence. Many sources contribute influence in our lives. Parents, other family members, teachers, friends, books we’ve read, discussions we’ve had, life experiences—all of these influences merge together to form our core values and build our character. In the years to come it’s predicted that our biggest commodity will be ourselves—that people will follow others because of who they are and what their character represents. That’s not something you could ever get from a machine, robot or automation.
Heart. Automation can never substitute for heart, care and love. When a leader demonstrates caring, it makes a difference in everyone they touch. The world is full of people who need to be exposed to a caring heart. Great leaders care about the people they lead above their own leadership; they are close enough to show they care but far enough ahead to also motivate. The future relies on this wisdom: leadership is not about being in charge but about taking care of those in your charge.
There are doubtless numerous skills you’ll need to build a successful future, but it’s these core skills that matter most.
“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”
This is one of my favorite quotes, most often attributed to Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. It holds an answer to managing negativity in the workplace. But first, I want to be clear about negative thoughts and emotions.
It’s okay to feel anger, worry, and sadness. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to get upset. We all experience a spectrum of feelings throughout the day. It’s normal. Besides, the more we squash negative emotions, the more they appear. But we can learn how to respond when we want to hold onto those negative emotions.
The first step is to acknowledge that we all feel big feelings, then feel compassion for yourself when you have them and, eventually, for others when they do.
Recognize Negative Tendencies
We all have natural negative tendencies and thought patterns. So don’t beat yourself up—or at least try not to. Recognize these leanings and attempt to catch yourself before you go into your habitual swirl of doom. You know what that looks like. You might be one of those who identify what’s wrong before you recognize what’s going well. Perhaps you like to vent—a lot. Or, if you are like me, you get defensive when you get feedback and see it as a criticism. These knee-jerk reactions can go completely unnoticed by us because they are ingrained habits and impulses—learned behaviors we acquired long before we were functioning adults.
The key is to acknowledge a feeling and then identify if your reaction to it will be helpful or unhelpful. We obviously don’t want to act out negatively or do something that’s hurtful. But sometimes our natural tendency does exactly that.
I’ll give you an example. Last week I was triggered by one of my colleagues who provided input on a strategy document I wrote. The comments, I felt, were not useful. Instead of dismissing them as a reflection of the person’s own issues, I was triggered and unleashed. I felt annoyed and wanted others to feel my irritation and validate my frustration. So I immediately texted and called a couple of my closest colleagues and complained. I distracted myself from the issue at hand and got wrapped up in a negative cycle of judgment and griping. And while my peers understood and empathized, I can only imagine that my rant did not put a positive spin on their day; perhaps it even impacted them later on. It was not an issue that I was triggered, but it was that I let it play out with my teammates and truly created a negative work environment. Not helpful and not fair—to myself, my peers, or that clueless colleague who was trying to give me some honest feedback.
Don’t Gossip
Here is a confession: I struggle with gossip. I want to follow the Golden Rule. If I hear someone speaking negatively about someone or something else, I don’t want to participate or share a juicy story of my own. But I usually do. I sympathize and likely continue enabling the rumor mill. Why? I also struggle with being direct, so gossip is an easier way for me to process my feelings. Great job, Brit, on being self-aware. But I need to take this a bit further.
Really, the better course of action is to either not participate or change the subject. Have more empathy and compassion for those who are at the center of the story. We are all just trying to do the best we can with the information we are presented with at the time.
Goodbye to Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is as bad as gossiping. It can be used to gloss over any unpleasant truths in the workplace. Rarely are statements such as “it could be worse” or “don’t stress” or “look on the bright side” helpful to the individual who is having a bad day, for whatever justified or unjustified reason. Toxic positively feels a bit like gaslighting—as if the other person’s feelings don’t matter or aren’t appropriate.
As with gossip, the answer is empathy and compassion. How do you show empathy and compassion? Through listening with the intent to understand, validating those strong emotions, and offering support—even if it’s just an ear.
Flip the Negative Script
A very close friend of mine and I work together. We use a technique to manage negativity so we can help each other share strong feelings but also get some forward momentum. If this person calls wanting to air out grievances, I ask, “Do you want to talk to Work Britney or Friend Britney?” My response is different based on who this person wants to talk to. If it’s Work Britney, I’ll say something like, “Want to work out a solution together?” If she is looking for a friend, I’ll say, “Dude, that stinks. I’m here for you.”
You can use this technique with your people. Let them know you’re going to wear different hats based on their need. This way, you can either play the role of boss or lend a friendly ear. I’ve asked my leaders in the past to do this. It’s helped me be able to share my feelings and then make a plan–which often means being more direct with the object of my aggravation.
Find a Release Valve—A Healthy One
People call work a “pressure cooker” for good reason—we all need a release valve. But you need to find one that works for you. Maybe it’s journaling, or exercise, or yoga—whatever helps you process the big feelings. But watch out. Doom scrolling, gossip, toxic positivity, and other nefarious habits that cause more self-harm may seem to be effective release valves, but they clearly only perpetuate the negative cycle on yourself and others.
Set the Tone
Leaders have more influence than they realize. Just consider that a poor relationship with a leader is the top reason people leave a job. You can flip this dynamic on its head by asking people how they are doing, what problems they are facing, what’s their biggest challenge.
Just as important, you can set the tone for these conversations. Instead of focusing on the negative, you can ask people about their big wins in the past week. I recently asked my people what their best day at work was in the past six months. Smiles began appearing on every face. Their brains were working hard. Then they shared great stories—and the whole nature of the conversation changed.
You Be the Example
A leader’s job is to manage the energy in the workplace. If there is negativity everywhere, notice it, acknowledge your role in creating or perpetuating that environment, and make a conscious decision to do something different.
It’s an unrealistic attitude to think every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows. Just do your best to be more mindful of negative patterns. Craig Weber calls it “Catch It, Name It, Tame It.” Meanwhile, “Catch people doing things right,” as Ken Blanchard would say. Celebrate the small wins. Celebrate when things go well. And little by little, you’ll change the environment.
It all goes back to the Frankl quote. “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”
We have a choice. Do we want to bring people down or lift them up? Do we want to share the latest gossip or simply move on with our day? Negative emotions are shared by all of us, but a negative environment doesn’t have to be. We have the power to create more shared experiences that are positive. It’s about asserting our freedom and remembering that we have a choice in our response—and then choosing the path that leads to our growth and happiness.
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Benjamin Franklin
“One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast.” – Robert Brault
There are many famous quotes by famous and influential people about rising early in the morning. But is there any strength to these quotes? This article talks about 8 benefits of being an early riser.
Early mornings for some can be a drag, and let’s be honest here, there will always be morning’s especially when it’s dark outside that all you will want to do is pull the covers over your head for an extra 5 minutes.
With so many benefits to waking up early, from enhancing your productivity in school or work, to being better able to stick to a diet plan to having more energy levels and better mood, it’s easy to see why many famous people swear by it attributing to their success, Richard Branson for example says he wakes at 5 am each morning.
Knowing this it is hard not to adopt this way of life to your daily routine. So let’s talk about some of these benefits and how to become an early riser.
1. Positive Outlook
According to studies early risers often tend to go to bed early as well, which means they are more likely to get the 7-9 hours recommended sleep for adults.
Sleeping the full amount regularly is said to help lead towards a healthier body and mind, which in turn has its own benefits, so it is easy to see why early risers may be less stressed and have more positivity in their lives.
2. More Energy
More rest equals more energy, plain and simple . If you get into the routine of rising early and retiring to bed early you are more likely to have a better sleeping pattern which leads to being more energetic throughout the day, helping you accomplish your goals and tasks in a faster and more productive manner.
3. Body System Reboot
Regular sleep is important for your general health. Not only does a full night sleep help to drop your blood pressure, helps your muscles to relax and repair, your breathing to slow and your body temperature to drop, but studies show that T-cells, which are the white blood cells that help to fight infection, tend to drop when you get a full night’s sleep. This is your immune system rebooting itself while you rest.
4. More Time to Exercise
After a busy day’s work, you can be both mentally and physically exhausted and the last thing you want to do is head to the gym or go out for a run. You make promises to yourself you’ll go tomorrow, only to have the same thing happen. Early risers have the benefit of being able to fit their workout in, before the madness of the day takes over. This also helps to kickstart the body and mind which will energize you for the day.
5. Become more Organized
Sometimes the saying “Not enough hours in the day” springs to mind.
We fall asleep thinking about all the things we are going to get done the following day, whether that be at work or at home, or both. Then something throws us off, we sleep in, forgot something on the way to work, or get delayed in traffic and our day seems to spiral after that.
Being an early riser means you can get a head start on the day and helps to kickstart your day off to a good start.
By planning and laying out some goals and tasks to accomplish the previous day can help you be more organized and make use of that early start.
6. Healthier Eating
No time for breakfast? Grabbing something quick and easy on the go while you
run out the door? Sound familiar? Rising later doesn’t give you the much needed time to break the fast from the night before and prepare a sustainable breakfast that will set you up for the day.
Recent research has found that late sleepers generally consume approximately 248 more calories than those who rise early. They tend to only eat half as much fruit and vegetables and twice as much fast food as their early riser counterparts.
7. More Productive
Your brain tends to be the most alert in the morning, so why not use that time wisely to focus on important tasks un-interrupted while the rest of your house and world sleep.
You tend to make better decisions and think more clearly in the morning, then at any other time of day.
Starting the day early also improves your concentration which means you can accomplish those goals and tasks that you set out the night before. It also means that by the time you get to work, you are fully awake and properly acclimatized to the day meaning you will be more alert during those peak hours.
8. Helps your Skin Look Healthy
Our skin tends to look its best in the morning after a full night’s restful sleep. And being an early riser means you can take advantage and take your time to make sure your skin looks its best.
People who wake up early also tend to have regular sleeping habits which help to ensure that your skin gets the proper time to rejuvenate itself.
Getting into the Routine
Ok, so we’ve outlined some tips on how to be an early riser, but how do we start getting into the routine, while also getting enough sleep. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Start slowly.
Try waking just 15-30 minutes earlier than usual at the start. Get used to this for a few days, then cut back another 15 minutes. Keep doing this gradually until you get to your goal time.
Allow yourself to go to sleep earlier. You might be used to staying up late, but if you continue to do this while trying to get up earlier, sooner or later one is going to give. And if it is the early rising that gives, then you will crash and sleep late and have to start all over again. Try going to bed earlier, even if you don’t think you’ll sleep and read while in bed or mediate for a few minutes to help relax your mind. If you’re really tired, you just might fall asleep much sooner than you think.
Don’t have your alarm clock next to your bed
This is an important one, if it is within arms reach, the temptation is there to just reach out and hit the snooze button or worse still you could end up just turning it off.
By having your alarm clock far from your bed, you will have to get up out of bed to shut it off. Then, you’re up. Now you just have to stay up.
Open the blinds or curtains and get out of the room as soon as you turn off the alarm
By doing this you are less likely to talk yourself into getting back into bed, even if it is just for a few minutes.
Do not rationalize. If you allow your brain to talk you out of getting up early, you’ll never do it. Don’t make getting back in bed an option.
Have a good reason for setting that alarm:
Set something to do early in the morning that’s important. This will help motivate you to get up and do it. Once it is done, you’ll be awake and ready to take on the day.
Take advantage of all that extra time
Have a nice hot cup of coffee or tea. Read a book, Watch the sunrise or meditate. Don’t wake up early, to wander around and not make the most of your time. Find something that’s pleasurable for you, and allow yourself to do it as part of your morning routine.
Getting up early has many benefits for both your body and your mind. The hardest part is convincing yourself to do it, and then getting into a routine of getting up early every morning. If you start implementing these tips you will soon see that it gets easier and eventually you will find that your body starts to get used to it, and you end up waking even before your alarm goes off.
You all enjoy the melody of Nostalgia and Natalie song…Singing duet with Hasmik from Boston was a wonderful surprise. Hope you all will enjoy the remix and duet. I miss the good old days, here are no words to express this song!!
