Whispering of laughter

During the dark time of the day
I know it is night for me to find alone
To think of the kisses of the day
To wish to be held by this time.
When the world sleeps
You come in my dreams
Always showing the deep part of your heart
Telling of love
Whispering of laughter.
I want our shadows to feel each other
Let their weight be felt like you’re here.
Come to me so we make magic happen
As I call you my girl
The light of my world.

I see you in my dreams

I see you in my dreams, you
speak in tongues
about

an apocalyptic sun
rising

over fields of wheat and ash
where

we last danced, and

flowers
have black heads of sand

a land of love
with skies of blood, and

rivers, our veins
connecting two worlds
into one

 

Your eyes

And when he said to me:
Your eyes
The most beautiful painting I ever have portrayed
Your love
The most beautiful poem I ever have inked
Your laughter
The most beautiful music I ever have heard.
~Only🌹

 

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We must not retain anything of the passing time
it is the time that passes through our heart
the only one that counts..
The days don’t count
the years don’t count
only the moments count..

those that transport us
that pierce us
those where we feel alive
Nice day
One Love

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Still Fail

If you decide to walk away so easily
Just because I said some things I didn’t mean
In case you changed your mind about all this
I guess it’s just the way it has to be

You know that I am still in love with you
So many little things we have to do
So many different words are left to say
Instead you choose to go, a separate way

You may be the only love
I had ever known
And it’s got to last forever

Things were wrong and now it’s over
Your love is gone though mine
Is still around

If you decide you’re better of alone
Don’t forget to leave a little note
And take along the precious memories
That leave me pain and emptiness

 

If someone asked what I am living for
Without hesitation I would say it’s you alone
Without a doubt in my mind
Another one like you I’ll never find

You may be the only love
I had ever known
And it’s got to last forever

Things were wrong and now it’s over
Your love is gone though mine
Is still around

You may be the only love
I had ever known
And it’s got to last forever

Things were wrong and now it’s over
Your love is gone though mine
Is still around

 

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COME TO ME

 

Come to me,
I want you, to hug me again
And draw me a smile
on my face

tell me that although
you’re not mine,
it’s like you were

Because you’ve
always occupied
a place special in me,
heart.

Tell me,
my eyes are fireflies
that light your way of
fear and darkness

MOON’S RIVER

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We sat by the light of the orange moon, that night
We stared at the eyes of twinkled stars so bright,
Then we fell into the thought of catching falling stars
As the night caught the gentle beat of both our hearts.
We stared at the moon in the sweet, silent sky,
Looking for a face that we could recognize
We saw the eyes on the moon, we saw the smile.
Our hearts connected to the love from way up high,
Then the moon trickled light to meet our needing eyes,
Came flowing now as roots from dark and silent skies,
Connected to our hands and feet as tiny lines,
We felt the truth of moon’s beam that amazing night.
The moment gone, moon drifts away from sight,
The night hides away as morning lights
And there on the ground we wake to find
A star twinkling, fallen from the skies.
This truth can’t be felt from other’s eyes
But we hold that truth forever of our night.
Some things must be experienced to know,
No matter what belief we speak and show.
These moments live as stories to the crowd,
The tale is told by those who speak out loud,
But all of us have moments where we feel
The magic of this dream that is so real.
I hope one day you look to skies above
And feel those stars connected to your love.
I hope you feel the pull and that you too
Touch the truth from your rivers of the moon.

Take me to the oceans

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Take me to the oceans where
heart does not suffer
Take me to the stars
For beautiful
They light up your eyes
And when I look at them
My heart is filled
With that fire
Which will only be extinguished
When my heart will stop
To emit the sounds
Of my passion
My home
Will be eternal

 

12 behaviors that leaders should avoid

12 behaviors that leaders should avoid

 

Last fall, I had a person reach out to me who was in charge of a huge change initiative in his company. He asked if I would identify a number of behaviors that leaders should avoid at all costs.

I asked him if it wouldn’t be better to identify behaviors that would positively impact every leader’s effectiveness. He asked me why he should make the distinction. I explained that when we tell people what not to do, they usually end up doing the very things we told them to avoid.

He asked me how I knew that. When I was being trained as a ski instructor in my college days, we were told not to say, “If you get out of control, don’t look at the trees.” Rather, they asked us to tell people, “If you get out of control, look downhill where you want to go.”

When we tell our brain what not to do, it may do what we don’t want in absence of clear directions of the correct course of action. In the end, my client pressed me for my “don’t” list rather than a list of effective behaviors.

Here are 12 behaviors that leaders should avoid, along with ideas for what to do instead.

1. Don’t communicate clearly

Give your directions and let that be that. People should know what you mean when you tell them what to do. Also, don’t allow questions, expression of concerns, or ideas for improvements along the way.

What to do instead: You should do all you can to communicate clearly and distinctly. If you have any doubts, ask questions to clarify and check your understanding and theirs.

2. Don’t invite input

People should just do their jobs. You shouldn’t ask them if there is a better way of doing what they should already know how to do.

What to do instead: Ask for input. People who actually perform the tasks may have ideas of what works well and what doesn’t. Allowing people to make contributions will enhance performance and results.

3. Don’t invite people to identify what they need

If you are always asking people to identify what they need (time, people, equipment, or more money), you run the risk of giving them an inch and them taking a mile.

What to do instead: Offer support along the way. Identify what is working and where people are getting bogged down. Make any needed adjustments that will help with the completion of a project.

4. Don’t express appreciation

After all, you pay people for doing their jobs; why should you verbally recognize them and express appreciation for what they are supposed to do?

What to do instead: Smart leaders go out of their way to observe people and catch them doing the right things. They step up and express appreciation for the work people do and the value and contributions that they make.

5. Don’t take the time to get to know your people personally

Getting to know someone on a personal level is not necessary. You are better off keeping to yourself than wasting time talking with people about non-work topics.

What to do instead: People want to connect and know their leaders. Getting to know each person on your team, their history, their goals, and their aspirations will help you establish rapport and make personal connections. People generally want to know that co-workers care about them and respect them for their contributions to the team’s success.

6. Don’t jump in and assist when things don’t go as planned

You don’t have time to worry about how people are doing at their work; they’ll figure it out. If they don’t get good results, you can always blame them. Stay out of the way, and let them work things out on their own.

What to do instead: Being involved when assistance is needed demonstrates commitment and teamwork toward a team goal. You should never be afraid to offer suggestions, share your expertise or backfill when there are not enough hands to do the work. Offering support when it is needed will demonstrate your commitment to people’s success.

7. Don’t trust people to do their jobs

No one can do as good of a job as you can. Why take the chance that your team can do the work to your satisfaction if you don’t manage every step of the process? Constant supervision will ensure that even your poorest performers will turn in good results.

What to do instead: Demonstrate that you are willing to give complete autonomy to people to do their jobs. You can offer training, support and assistance during the entire life of a project. Until people clearly seek your help, assume their best intentions and allow people to do their work. If results are less than expected, you can work with the individuals as needed to strengthen the outcome.

8. Don’t offer feedback, especially when the desired results aren’t achieved

The negative consequences of poor results should be enough to motivate and help people course-correct their behavior.

What to do instead: People love feedback. They want to know when they did the right thing, and they want to know how to improve. Never underestimate the power of giving others feedback. Things won’t change or improve without the benefit of useful and specific feedback. Providing feedback should become a regular function of assessing the quality of your results.

9. Don’t worry about throwing people under the bus

If people are not performing and are to blame for poor results, then they deserve what they get. If you are the leader, it isn’t your fault when others don’t perform. People should take the blame if they are to blame.

What to do instead: Blaming others does not solve a problem. If people don’t get the results that you expect, the first person you should look at is yourself, the quality of your communication, and the clarity of your directions. Then you should hold a conversation to identify what went awry and what should be done to address the current challenge.

If you are the kind of leader who cannot take responsibility, then people will quickly learn that they don’t need to take responsibility, either.

10. Don’t take time to celebrate successes

Taking time and money to celebrate team or individual success is wasted effort. Usually, people are only interested being rewarded with something of monetary value. If you can’t give them that, why bother?

What to do instead: Any time your team meets a milestone, you should take the time to celebrate their success. There are many inexpensive ways to recognize people and their efforts. Taking the time to celebrate in some way sends the message that people are important and that their efforts are recognized and appreciated.

11. Don’t worry about developmental opportunities

You don’t have the budget to send people to training, and it’s a waste of resources. You don’t want people to get distracted from their job. People can worry about that on their own time.

What to do instead: People want to grow and develop. They also want to expand their skills and capabilities so they can do their job better. If you don’t know what each of your people wants in terms of personal growth opportunities and support them in their efforts, they will find an organization that will offer them what they want and need to develop.

12. Don’t worry about saying one thing and doing another

Things change and you have the right to change your mind. People should just fall in line and go with the flow. Sometimes keeping your commitments is impossible and people need to be adaptable.

What to do instead: Things change, and when they do, you should be the first one to alert people and explain why it will occur. If you can’t keep your commitments, you need to apologize, explain why, and reaffirm the importance of your commitment to them. Failure to do so will result in a lack of respect, trust, and loyalty.

Hopefully, you recognize the many false assumptions that I offered above as behaviors that leaders should avoid. Your success as a leader depends upon your ability to do the right things for the right reasons.

I’ve made a few suggestions of things effective leaders do; there are many others. Taking time to assess your personal effectiveness and making needed changes will boost your success as a leader and as a team.