10 Big Problems in a Relationship and How to Fix it

10 Big Problems in a Relationship and How to Fix it

By: Mihran “Mino”

Relationships can be perfect. But that doesn’t mean it won’t have its problems. Find out the big problems in a relationship and learn how to fix it.

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Relationships are one of the first things that all of us take for granted.We don’t want to take it for granted.

But yet, we forget how much something really matters to us when we don’t stand to lose it.

And it usually takes losing something to realize its importance and value.

Wondering what the big problems in a relationship are, and what you can do to overcome it?

Problems in a relationship

Depending on the kind of relationship you share with your partner, the problems in a relationship too could be just as unique.

But almost always, all problems in a relationship find their place in ten big areas.

At some point or the other, these problems have a way of creeping into your romance.

Keep an eye on these issues, and understand how to overcome it, and you’ll see how easy it can be to eliminate all the frustrations you experience in a relationship.

 

Relationship Big Problem

 

10 big problems that need your attention

Remember this, you can’t stop problems from cropping up in a relationship no matter how perfect the relationship is. What you can do instead, is eliminate the frustration as soon as you notice them.

#1 Lack of communication. At the start of the relationship, conversations are exciting and fun. Both of you spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But as time goes by, lovers forget to ask the same questions again.

We’re all changing all the time, in our preferences and the way we look at life. Don’t assume you know everything about each other or your romance will start to stagnate, or one of you will start to confide in some other person who seems more understanding.

#2 Trust. Do you really trust your partner? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. Firstly, do you trust your partner enough to feel comfortable with them going out for dinner with someone else? If you don’t, perhaps, you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile.

And secondly, do you trust your partner’s decisions? Do you think your partner is capable of making important decisions for the both of you? If you can’t trust your partner with life altering decisions, it’s obvious that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s never a good sign in a long term relationship.

#3 Jealousy and insecurity. Insecure couples are forever locked in a cycle of jealously and anger. When you feel jealous about the attention your lover’s getting or their recent promotion, you’re not helping them become a better individual. It’s like a parent who’s angry with their child because the child is having “too much fun”.

You need to learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it?

#4 Incompatibility in love. Love at first sight and infatuation can last several months. And it does a good job of masking any differences in a relationship. As perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.

If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations.

#5 Loss of sex drive. This isn’t rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of a relationship. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore.

This is a very common problem in relationships, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky bunnies.

#6 Ka ching! Anyone in a relationship for long enough will know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it’ll end up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there’ll be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.

It’s a stupid fact of life. But our own happiness is extremely dependent on the way others perceive us. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, perhaps it’s time to change your friends and see the difference.

#7 Change in priorities. You may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t change who you are. And that’s where the problem starts. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.

And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And every now and then, you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. Spend enough time with each other and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Talk about your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path.

#8 Time. Do both of you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. When you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”

Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.

#9 Space and individual growth. Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But it’s still something to watch out for. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, spending time with each other is very important. But at the same time, spending time away from each other is crucial too.

By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right?

#10 Are you still in love? This is the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner?

 When the sexual excitement and the enthusiasm fade away, what do you have to hold both of you together? A relationship should never be based on sex alone. It needs compatibility and understanding, and it definitely needs dependability. Staying in love forever is not easy, but with a little effort, it can give meaning to your life.
Problems in a relationship can come and go. But if you ever come face to face with these 10 big problems in romance, don’t overlook it. It could cost you the relationship itself.

Love Is…

Love is…

Love is feeling cold in the back of vans

Love is a fanclub with only two fans

Love is walking holding paintstained hands

Love is.

Love is fish and chips on winter nights

Love is blankets full of strange delights

Love is when you don’t put out the light

Love is

Love is the presents in Christmas shops

Love is when you’re feeling Top of the Pops

Love is what happens when the music stops

Love is

Love is white panties lying all forlorn

Love is pink nightdresses still slightly warm

Love is when you have to leave at dawn

Love is

Love is you and love is me

Love is prison and love is free

Love’s what’s there when you are away from me

Love is… 

 

A Fairy Song

A Fairy Song

Over hill, over dale,
Thorough bush, thorough brier,
Over park, over pale,
Thorough flood, thorough fire!
I do wander everywhere,
Swifter than the moon’s sphere;
And I serve the Fairy Queen,
To dew her orbs upon the green;
The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
In their gold coats spots you see;
Those be rubies, fairy favours;
In those freckles live their savours;
I must go seek some dewdrops here,
And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.

The Value of a Good Reputation – and How to Build One

By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA

Consultant, Strategist, and Writer

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“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” – Socrates

All of us have friends and family with different reputations.

Some of our friends and family are rock-solid people that you know you can rely on when you need them. All you have to do is give them a call and they’ll be there. If there’s a project to be completed, they’ll help out. You turn to these people when the chips are down and on the rare occasion when they ask for help, you’re quite willing to help them.

Some of our friends and family, though, are far less reliable. They might be fun to hang out with, but when anything with responsibility comes up, you know not to include them. When the chips are down, you know these people are unlikely to come through.

Now, let’s say you have an investment opportunity sitting before you, or you’re looking for someone to join your company. You have a reliable friend and an unreliable friend who both have what you need.

Who are you going to call? Who’s going to get the reward?

This might seem a bit dramatic, but the core of this idea happens over and over and over again in life. When something important comes up, the opportunities tend to go to the people with good reputations before they go to the people with questionable reputations.

The person with the good reputation is the person you’re going to invite to social gatherings. The person with the bad reputation might get invited to a cookout, but there will be a lot of invites that they miss.

The person with the good reputation is going to get introduced to lots of people with a positive referral. The person with the bad reputation won’t get those positive introductions.

The person with the good reputation might have someone speak up on their behalf during a hiring process. The person with the bad reputation might have someone speak up against them during a hiring process. (The person with no reputation won’t have anyone speak up for them at all.)

A good reputation is valuable. It’s something you’re going to want on your side.

Building a Good Reputation
Many people, as they enter adulthood, do not have much of a reputation at all. Sure, some people have already done exceptional things and have a bit of a positive reputation, and others may have done some silly things during their teen years and developed a bit of a negative one, but both of those can be wiped clean by moving to a new area. There is always a chance to improve your reputation.

So, how do you do that? I’ve found that there are five key things anyone can do to move their reputation in a positive direction.

Emulate those you know that have earned your respect
Think of the handful of people in your life that you respect the most. What do you respect about them? What do they consistently do that make you think of them in such a positive light?

Cut out the negative talk
Don’t talk negatively about anyone in any situation unless you’re facing them alone one-on-one or you’re in a group environment where they’ve requested criticism. If you can’t think of good things to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.

This can be very hard for some people to do, but it’s a key part of building a good reputation. People who are constantly negative rarely have a positive reputation.

Avoid behaviors considered negative in the culture you want a good reputation in
You might personally find no problem with a certain behavior or even find it to be a positive, but if you’re looking for a good reputation in a certain group, you should avoid those behaviors.

It’s really hard to give a list of what such behaviors might be because it depends heavily on who you’re trying to build a positive reputation with. In general, if you’re uncertain, ask yourself what the leaders of this group would think of the behavior you’re questioning.

A few negative behaviors are fine if they’re counterbalanced with the other items on this list, but piling them up will create a negative reputation that you won’t be able to overcome.

Take on responsibilities, but be sure you can follow through on them
Some people fail to build a reputation because they never take on any responsibility. Others build a bad reputation because they offer to take on big responsibilities and can’t follow through. There’s a happy middle ground there and that’s what you should shoot for.

When people need things and you’re sure you can help them with what they need, volunteer to handle it and then follow through. The follow through is the key part of building a positive reputation.

An occasional failure is acceptable and expected, but it should usually come on top of a large pile of successes. Also, it’s often worthwhile to silently take on responsibilities that need to be handled. You don’t need to shout what you’re doing from the rooftops – in fact, that’s often detrimental.

Be involved – increase your points of social contact
This involves both being social and participating in community events. They’re both vital in building a good reputation.

For starters, it’s hard to build a good reputation if no one knows who you are. You have to speak up. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Learn how to converse with people you don’t know and practice it as much as you can.

The best way to do this is to participate in community activities where you’ll have the chance to meet a lot of people. I’ve met dozens of people simply by coaching youth soccer, as I’ll interact with parents and grandparents of all of the kids on my team. I see them again and again at community events, like the annual community celebrations that happen in the towns in our area, and when I see them, I greet them and ask how their kid is doing.

It doesn’t take much effort on my part, but there are a lot of people out there in the community who have a more positive view of me because of it. Repeat that over and over again and it just builds on itself.

That’s really all there is to building a good reputation. Figure out who you want to have a good reputation with, emulate the leaders of that community, trim out the negative talk, be social, take on responsibilities that you know you can follow through on, and follow through on them. It’s a pretty simple recipe and it’s one that, over time, will start earning you dividends in many different aspects of life.

Those are the things that you should be striving for. Act like them. Imitate them. If you’re not sure what to do in a situation, ask yourself what you think that person would do. Don’t hesitate to ask them for advice on difficult challenges you face.