7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Settle For Someone Who Doesn’t Make An Effort

If Your Partner Doesn't Do These 7 Things, You're Forcing Your ...

7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Settle For Someone Who Doesn’t Make An Effort

Isn’t it the best feeling to hear “It wasn’t the same without you” or “I missed you so much”?

We all want to feel desired, wanted, and needed. We all want to feel loved and cared for. We all want to be missed. When it comes to significant others, we need to feel desired. That desire drives the passion, intimacy, and love that we feel between each other.

Sometimes we feel the passion but not the desire. We receive the response to our text a day or two later without any acknowledgement that it was late. Sure, people can be busy. Of course, we’re always busy. But how busy do you have to be to not respond with a “So sorry, busy day, will respond later”? It’s the respectful thing to do.

In our society, texting is many times our primary form of communication. We get to know each other by what emojis we send, whether or not we use periods or commas, and of course, our response time. We’re never asking for much, but we do expect a response within a respectable amount of time.

It might be that you’re trying to plan a date with the person from your English class that you’ve been crushing on for the entire year. It might be an old fling that you’re trying to reconnect with. It might be someone you’ve gone on a few dates with and you’re really feeling the potential.

Whether you’re in a potential, new, current, or nonexistent relationship, there’s never a reason to settle for someone who doesn’t make it known they want you. Here are seven reasons why.

7 Mistakes You May Make In A New Relationship, And How To Fix Them

1. You deserve better.
First comes first: You deserve better. If your best friend was complaining that the guy she likes was only texting her back every three or four days, what advice would you give her? You deserve better. It doesn’t matter whether this person is the sweetest person ever when you’re together. Making plans is a crucial step to continue getting to know each other. If they’re wishy-washy, it’s not worth it to you.

2. Your time is valuable.
When this person is off “being too busy,” you’re waiting around for their text and either coming up with excuses for them or feeling sorry for yourself. Stop that! Your time is valuable and you could be doing much better things than thinking about the “what ifs.” Stop “what if-ing” and spend your time investing in someone who will also invest time in you.

3. The Golden Rule.
Treat others how you want to be treated. You know that you wouldn’t be this flaky with someone, so why let yourself be treated this way? Indirectly, it’s insulting to you. You don’t need to be insulted or played with.

4. You won’t know what other opportunities are out there.
When you’re distracted by what this person could be doing instead of texting you back, you’re wasting your own time. You could be missing out on bumping into that cute person at the coffee shop who is completely willing to spend the 30-seconds it takes to reply to a text and make plans. Who knows what else you’re missing? You don’t! Not until you start looking.

5. You’ll become dependent on someone who isn’t dependable.
Let’s say you end up waiting 3 days for the reply. Even though you’re frustrated that this person made you wait, you make plans for Saturday and you’re looking forward to it. Saturday is a blast and your optimism is restored that this person is the one for you. They end up taking another 3 days to reply when you try to make plans again. This becomes a cycle of feeling so down when you’re waiting for the reply, but so happy when you finally make plans. You don’t need this madness! There are already so many stressors in life; waiting the whole week to confirm your weekend plans shouldn’t be another one.

6. There are better things to do than wait around.
Cook a new recipe. Bake cookies. Sing. Dance. Go to the beach, for a drive, for a run. There are endless possibilities for you to do that will stimulate your mind, body, and spirit much more than waiting around for a text back.

7. You are strong!
You might be feeling like it actually is worth it to you to wait around or that there actually aren’t better opportunities for you out there. But trust me, there are. Be a little more patient—the best has yet to come.

The bottom line is that if someone wants you in their life, they’ll make an effort to keep you in it. You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t wait for someone to “come around” and show you they want you. If they do, you’ll know.

30 Perfect Quotes To Remind You Exactly Why You Fell In Love

happy interracial couple, happy couple, love quotes, quotes about love

1.

“Falling in love is easy. Falling in love with the same person repeatedly is extraordinary.”
— Crystal Woods

2.

“Love is simple. You fall and that’s it. You’ll work the other stuff out. You just gotta let yourself fall and have faith that someone will be there to catch you.”
— Chelsea M Cameron

3.

“When you fall in love with someone you give them your heart. When you find out they love you too, you get it back, times two.”
— Unknown

4.

“In life you have to take the pace that love goes. You don’t force it. You just don’t force love, you don’t force falling in love – you just become. I don’t know how to say that in English, but you just feel it.”
— Juan Pablo Galavis

5.

“I think that one of the things that you do learn is that falling in love and being in love with someone is a rarity. That you don’t fall in love as many times as you think you’re going to. And when you do, it’s really special, it’s really important.”
— Julianne Moore

6.

“She wasn’t exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started. All she knew for sure was that right here and now, she was falling hard and she could only pray that he was feeling the same way.”
— Nicholas Sparks

7.

“First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.”
— Maya Angelou

8.

“Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.”
— Oscar Wilde>

9.

“We do not fall in love with the package of the person, we fall in love with the inside of a person.”
— Unknown

10.

“I’m a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don’t have control of every situation.”
— Beyonce

11.

“Fall in love with someone who deserves your heart, not someone who plays with it.”
— Anonymous

12.

“We never get enough of falling in love and believing in love.”
— Shemar Moore

13.

“You know you’re falling in love when the feeling of falling actually feels like you’re floating.”
— Rashida Rowe

14.

“Maybe it’s just hiding somewhere. Or gone on a trip to come home. But falling in love is always a pretty crazy thing. It might appear out of the blue and just grab you. Who knows, maybe even tomorrow.”
— Harukin Murakami

15.

‘When I saw you I fell in love and you smiled because you knew.”
— Arrigo Boito

16.

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”
— Albert Einstein

17.

“I am naïve when it comes to love, you know what I mean? I do believe in falling in love at first sight and things like that.”
— Sonam Kapoor

18.

“The first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever and no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away.”
— Nicholas Sparks

19.

“Falling in love with you was never my intention but it became my addiction.”
— Abhishek Tiwari

20.

“Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall.”
— Anonymous

21.

“Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping roller coaster ride that just has to take it’s course.”
— Jackie Collins

22.

“I have completely fallen for you. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you are. You’re my first thought in the morning, you’re my last thought before I fall asleep and you’re almost every thought in between.”
— Unknown

23.

“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
— Hermann Hesse

24.

“No one ever fell in love gracefully.”
— Connie Broadway

25.

“They told me that to make her fall in love I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love.”
— Unknown

26.

“This thing about you that you think is your flaw – it’s the reason I’m falling in love with you.”
— Colleen Hoover

27.

“Love consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other.”
— Rainer Maria Rilke

28.

“I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.”
— Dr Seuss

29.

“Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded. Just sick to your stomach, high one minute, low the next. Starving hungry but unable to eat. Hot, cold, forever horny, full of hope and enthusiasm with momentary depression that wipes you out.”
— Jackie Collins

30.

“A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned. And I love relationships. I think there fantastic, there wonderful. I think there great, I think there is nothing in the world more beautiful than falling in love. But falling in love for the right reasons, falling in love for the right purpose, falling in love.

The Value of a Good Reputation – and How to Build One

By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA

Consultant, Strategist, and Writer

Image

“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” – Socrates

All of us have friends and family with different reputations.

Some of our friends and family are rock-solid people that you know you can rely on when you need them. All you have to do is give them a call and they’ll be there. If there’s a project to be completed, they’ll help out. You turn to these people when the chips are down and on the rare occasion when they ask for help, you’re quite willing to help them.

Some of our friends and family, though, are far less reliable. They might be fun to hang out with, but when anything with responsibility comes up, you know not to include them. When the chips are down, you know these people are unlikely to come through.

Now, let’s say you have an investment opportunity sitting before you, or you’re looking for someone to join your company. You have a reliable friend and an unreliable friend who both have what you need.

Who are you going to call? Who’s going to get the reward?

This might seem a bit dramatic, but the core of this idea happens over and over and over again in life. When something important comes up, the opportunities tend to go to the people with good reputations before they go to the people with questionable reputations.

The person with the good reputation is the person you’re going to invite to social gatherings. The person with the bad reputation might get invited to a cookout, but there will be a lot of invites that they miss.

The person with the good reputation is going to get introduced to lots of people with a positive referral. The person with the bad reputation won’t get those positive introductions.

The person with the good reputation might have someone speak up on their behalf during a hiring process. The person with the bad reputation might have someone speak up against them during a hiring process. (The person with no reputation won’t have anyone speak up for them at all.)

A good reputation is valuable. It’s something you’re going to want on your side.

Building a Good Reputation
Many people, as they enter adulthood, do not have much of a reputation at all. Sure, some people have already done exceptional things and have a bit of a positive reputation, and others may have done some silly things during their teen years and developed a bit of a negative one, but both of those can be wiped clean by moving to a new area. There is always a chance to improve your reputation.

So, how do you do that? I’ve found that there are five key things anyone can do to move their reputation in a positive direction.

Emulate those you know that have earned your respect
Think of the handful of people in your life that you respect the most. What do you respect about them? What do they consistently do that make you think of them in such a positive light?

Cut out the negative talk
Don’t talk negatively about anyone in any situation unless you’re facing them alone one-on-one or you’re in a group environment where they’ve requested criticism. If you can’t think of good things to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.

This can be very hard for some people to do, but it’s a key part of building a good reputation. People who are constantly negative rarely have a positive reputation.

Avoid behaviors considered negative in the culture you want a good reputation in
You might personally find no problem with a certain behavior or even find it to be a positive, but if you’re looking for a good reputation in a certain group, you should avoid those behaviors.

It’s really hard to give a list of what such behaviors might be because it depends heavily on who you’re trying to build a positive reputation with. In general, if you’re uncertain, ask yourself what the leaders of this group would think of the behavior you’re questioning.

A few negative behaviors are fine if they’re counterbalanced with the other items on this list, but piling them up will create a negative reputation that you won’t be able to overcome.

Take on responsibilities, but be sure you can follow through on them
Some people fail to build a reputation because they never take on any responsibility. Others build a bad reputation because they offer to take on big responsibilities and can’t follow through. There’s a happy middle ground there and that’s what you should shoot for.

When people need things and you’re sure you can help them with what they need, volunteer to handle it and then follow through. The follow through is the key part of building a positive reputation.

An occasional failure is acceptable and expected, but it should usually come on top of a large pile of successes. Also, it’s often worthwhile to silently take on responsibilities that need to be handled. You don’t need to shout what you’re doing from the rooftops – in fact, that’s often detrimental.

Be involved – increase your points of social contact
This involves both being social and participating in community events. They’re both vital in building a good reputation.

For starters, it’s hard to build a good reputation if no one knows who you are. You have to speak up. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Learn how to converse with people you don’t know and practice it as much as you can.

The best way to do this is to participate in community activities where you’ll have the chance to meet a lot of people. I’ve met dozens of people simply by coaching youth soccer, as I’ll interact with parents and grandparents of all of the kids on my team. I see them again and again at community events, like the annual community celebrations that happen in the towns in our area, and when I see them, I greet them and ask how their kid is doing.

It doesn’t take much effort on my part, but there are a lot of people out there in the community who have a more positive view of me because of it. Repeat that over and over again and it just builds on itself.

That’s really all there is to building a good reputation. Figure out who you want to have a good reputation with, emulate the leaders of that community, trim out the negative talk, be social, take on responsibilities that you know you can follow through on, and follow through on them. It’s a pretty simple recipe and it’s one that, over time, will start earning you dividends in many different aspects of life.

Those are the things that you should be striving for. Act like them. Imitate them. If you’re not sure what to do in a situation, ask yourself what you think that person would do. Don’t hesitate to ask them for advice on difficult challenges you face.