Here’s why you shouldn’t throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce.
By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA
With the divorce rate hanging around the 50 percent mark, there’s a decent chance that at some point in your life you’ll find yourself smitten with a divorced guy and you’ll be faced with the decision of whether or not dating him is a good idea. While it may seem a little shady at first— especially if he has extra baggage like kiddos — divorced men sometimes have more to offer than guys who have never taken the plunge.
Well, we’re letting the secret out now. Here’s why.
1. He believes in serious, longterm commitment. Although it may have not worked the first time around, the fact that he did get married shows that he believes in commitment. That’s a big deal in a society that’s becoming more and more disillusioned with marriage.
2. The sex is awesome. Statistically, married couples have sex less than those who aren’t hitched. According to the book “The Social Organization of Sexuality” (find it on Bing), 80 percent of married couples only have sex a few times a month. If that was the case in his past relationship, just think about how buck wild he’ll be in the sack now that he’s with someone who wants to do it all the time, or at least more than his ex-wife.
3. He “gets” it. He’s been there and done that. He understands about ups and downs, petty arguments, and the struggles that come with a serious relationship. It’s not easy to keep things smooth sailing at all times, and just because his marriage didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean he’s not up to the challenge to do it again.
4. Insta-family. If you’re cuckoo for babies, but aren’t ready to have a few of your own, then a divorced guy who has a kid or two will give you the baby-fix you’re looking for without overwhelming you and crowding your style.
5. He’s housebroken. I’m definitely not one to equate men with dogs, even when they’re being the absolute worst, but Stanger says, “Divorced men come already housebroken. Another woman has done the hard work of teaching him to put the seat down, call when he’s late, and tread lightly during a bad week.” Good point, and definitely a plus.
6. He has his ducks in a row. Having been married and then divorced, he’s not only had his fair share of drama, both good and bad, but he’s probably had ample opportunity to do some soul-searching. A man, who knows who he is and what he wants, is always a catch.
7. He’s learned from his mistakes. As with any relationship that has failed, romantic or otherwise, lessons are always learned. A divorced guy who signed up for the long haul, but didn’t quite make it can probably stare his mistakes in the face and realize how not to make them again.
Takeaway? Don’t throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce. Relationships start and end everyday, and if we didn’t give people a chance just because they have a breakup under their belt, then we’d totally miss out on the potential for something great.